SGD Day 25

In: 482 (out of 500)
Out: 111
Net: 371
I reeeaaaalllyyyy want ice cream right now. I'm currently using ALL of my willpower to not walk into the kitchen and eat some. It's pretty low in calories which makes it even harder to resist. But. I. Will. Not. Eat. Scale said 68.9 this morning and I want it to be less tomorrow.

I've been eating breakfast, lunch, a snack and dinner today. Really low calorie meals, obviously.

SGD Day 24

In: 475 (out of 450)
Out: 375
Net: 100

Great day. Coffee and water all day and an 1 hour walk. Made spagetti bolognese (spelling?) for dinner (and had 25 calories more than allowed) and it was SO good. I've been craving it for a couple of days and I decided to make it today. Don't regret it, but I guess it's because my scale told me 69.6 even though I fucked up yesterday. 25 calories wont kill me. And I try to think that they came from veggies, because I had a lot of them too. It feels a lot better today. Motivation's sneaking back, I just have too keep my eyes on the goal. Like 9 kgs left.

Do you ever get scared? 'cause I am.. When I reach my goal, when I'm all satisfied with my body, then what? I know I'll have to maintain and shit but it still scares me. Too see that loss everyday has been my entire world for these last 6 months. I dont want to quit. Maybe that's why these last few days sucked, I might be trying to ruin it for myself? I dont know..

SGD Day 23

Both in and net: about 1000 (out of 300)

I'm such a fucking fatty.. Did good all day, but since I went to F I ate her moms awesome food (500 calories) and then had some cookies (other 500). Ugh. I even had a couple more in secret after they left the kitchen for like 2 minutes.. No exercise either. It's 5 pm and I wont eat any more today.

I was 70.1 this morning, right now I'm 70.3. Makes me feel okay because it's 2 hours since I started to eat. Maybe tomorrow will be better, I will make it better. Hate these 300 calorie days!

SGD Day 22

In: 375 (out of 400)
Out: 300
Net: 75
Oh my god I'm SOO hungry! I could just eat and eat and eat but I wont. I've had an apple, 2 crackers, a salad with mushrooms, 2 meatballs and a ricecake today and that's enough. Craving the diet ice cream but no way. I've promised myself to stick to the calorie amount and I need to stick too it. Dont know what's up with me, it's like I've lost motivation.. I hope I get back on track soon because I know that this is what I want. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Walked to school and turned down when a girl in my class asked if I wanted a ride home (she lives like 2 houses away).

P's invited to a conference in the US in november. Vegas. I wish I could go with him, but I'm only turning 20 in like 2 weeks, so I cant really do anything over there.. That really sucks. Like REALLY sucks. Guess we can go someday when I'm 21. STILL sucks.

300 calories tomorrow.

SGD Day 21

In: 1800 (out of 700)
Out: 100
Net: 1700
OMG. Scale say 70.8kg today and yeah.. I feel like shit even though I KNOW it's mostly water, sodium and disgusting food in my body. Today is a new day and I'm allowed 400 calories. I'm walking to and home from my class today (cant go to the gym because of my stupid armpits..) and I wont eat more than 400. Coffee for breakfast and an apple for lunch.

Ugh. My stomach hurts so bad.. I just went in to the bathroom but it didn't help. Things still need to get out. And I have class and have too leave in like 5 minutes. Fuck.Well.. Need to go. I'll give you on info on the day (22) later tonight.

Let's do great today!

SGD Day 20

In: 1800 (out of 650)
Out: 300?
Net: probably like 1500 calories

I fucking hate alcohol. And food. I was at like 1000 calories even without the boose.. I'm sort of hungover but P's worse. He slept in the bathroom and can still barely stand on his feet. And it's been 12 hours since he last drank something. I've just eaten 25 grams of chocolate (130 calories) and later I'm ordering pizza or something. Thinking falafels with rice. Or a hamburger. Ugh. It feels like "fuck it" right now, like I can eat this. But I know that when this greasy food hits my stomach I will feel like such a failure. Cant even work out right now because I got HUGE chafes under my arms. It hurts like hell when I move.

I almost got into a bitchfight yesterday! My brothers crazy ex-girlfriend sat at our table, and his girlfriend was so afraid that she would do that when we saw her at the club. So I said to her "If you're planning on staying, you should just leave because noone wants you here" (have in mind I dont like her either and I was super drunk).. So she came over to me (she sat like 2 chairs away) and was all "did you want something?" and I told her I wanted her to leave and she said she wasn't planning on staying and I apologized because if she was leaving, there was no problem (feel free to say hi but dont stay kind of thing). Then she told me that I should not jump into conclusions because I probably was at least that mature and then I told her I DID apologize. Made her shut up and leave. Funny thing though - she apologized to ME for being a bitch like an hour later! She's really sneaky (trying to become friends with me when she 1. cheated on my brother, 2.spreads rumours about his new gf 3. hang out with his friends to be close to him) and a total bitch. If that made any sence for you guys, haha!

Morning weight yesterday (day 20) was 69.9kg. FUCKING BELOW 70!!!!!!!! Today was 69.5, but since I was throwing up yesterday it's probably not the "real" number? Right? Even if it is it will be gone tomorrow after all the eating I will do today. Because, I know I will eat even if I know it will ruin both my mood and my body. And because I was throwing up the alcohol calories actually are lower, but I counted them as I didn't throw up.

SGD Day 19

In: 978 (out of 500)
Out: 592
Net: 386
Omg I've been eating sooo much today! Binged, but since we only got "healthy" stuff at home I binged on low cal ice cream, popcorn and grapes. I feel sick because I'm so full right now.. My net's still below the limit so I should be fine though, I just hope I wont gain.

Tomorrow is another question.. My brother's celebrating his birthday with his friends and we're invited. Why are boose so high in calories?! 650 calories tomorrow - fuck me! And I will not even be going to the gym making my "out" higher. If the weather's okay I'm thinking a walk. But I have to study too.. Damn!

Time to go to bed. This mornings weight was 70.2. yey!

SGD Day 18

In: 385 (out of 450)
Out: 1255
Net: -870
How awesome is that?! I really love this day <3 I felt that binge again this morning so I had 2 crackers and a bowl of cereals.. Then J and I went to the gym for 60 minutes (35 on the treadmill and 25 with the other machines), home and shower and drinking a proteinshake and then she picked me up again and we went shopping. There was a new HUGE mall opening today and we got there at 3.30 and didn't leave until they closed at 8. I fucking burned more by spending money than what I ate! This even made me skip dinner. I've spent like.. 250 dollars but I got A LOT of stuff. AWESOME! I even bought jeans size US size 4!!!!! 4!!!!!!! (but they were really big in sizes.. I tried another pair and they we're size 6 and was sort of too tight).

I have not been drinking proparly so I got a real headache now.. And I have to make lunch for tomorrow and it's 9 pm over here. I'm making tuna salad and I hope it's not that exhausting, haha. Thinking lettuce, tomato, paprika, cucumber, corn, peas, eggwhite and fat free italian dressing (and tuna ofc).

SGD Day 17

In: 619 (out of 400)
Out: 559
Net: 60
Intake was 399 until I decided I wanted popcorn. I felt a binge coming and I know I rather eat a lot of popcorn than a lot of other stuff that's higher in calories. Because I exercised okay today, my net is okay too. I went running in the rain again. For 40 minutes. Loved every step. Later I had to walk to class because my brother borrowed my car, and it was still raining. 30 minutes of walking in the rain.

Morning weight was 70.9. I hope it's less tomorrow. Going to see my gynaecologist tomorrow about my bleedings and I hope they can fix it. After that I'm going to the gym. It's been almost a week since I was there and the soreness in my back from swimming is almost gone. Have to study tomorrow too.. Ugh.

SGD Day 16

In: 780 (out of 300)
Out: 600
Net: 179
J asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner and like 3 seconds later P texted me and told me he was working late. So I caved and had mashed potatoes and sausage.. 780 calories (because it was with bread and some shrimpthing too). Well, net is okay anyway. Went for a 50 minute walk with J and after dinner we went for another one for 30 minutes with her boyfriend. It rained both times, and when we split I did a 5 minute run home. Realised I love running in the rain. I hope it rains tomorrow, so I can skip the gym and just go for a run. I was thinking of doing an extra mile or so before I went inside, but I decided not to. Because it was 8pm.

Now I'll go get me some Coke Zero and Reply to comments/read your blogs.

I'M IN THE BEST FUCKING MOOD EVER TODAY. Even though I ate a fucking ton. Morning weight was 71.0 by the way. I hope I hope I hope it's less tomorrow (71,5 right now, but I ate less than 2 hours ago).

SGD Day 15

In: 400
Out: -700
Net: -200

J and I went swimming for over an hour and then spent 2 hours with intense Xbox Kinect playing. Had an sandwich for lunch (we ate at the swimmingplace so I had too) and a salad for dinner. Great day, even though I was 71.6 kg this morning. I weighed myself before I took a shower and that time I was 71.1. Hopeing to be 70-something tomorrow.

Not much else is happening around here.

SGD Day 14

Okay.. Today I fuuuuucked up. Calorie limit was 700 and I had more than double that. Burned only like 100 calories.. Feel like shit.

I had lost weight though. Tried my oms leatherpants again and I could button them if I sucked my stomach in for all I'm worth (2 weeks ago it was like 5 cm left).

Relatives expressed concerns. "Dont get to skinny", "slow down", "are you eating enough". WTF?! I'm not even near skinny yet and I'm nowhere near a low BMI. "standard weight" for my height is 69 kg. I'm like 71 kg (72.3 right now..) and can even lose 10 more without being underweight.. Ugh.. Are people blind?

guess thats when I lost it too.. And ate. Too show them I'm not afraid of calories. Too show them I'm not always dieting. Too show them I'm healthy and normal.

SGD Day 13

Friday went well. I got really drunk and throw up when I got home. Guess I'm not used to alcohol anymore and probably ate to little too. Had fun though. 
In: 870
out: 1100
Net: -230

Yesterday
In: 750 (out of 650)
Out: 200
Net: -550
Morning weight was 70.3, And this morning I'm 71.9 AGAIN. Fucking water.. I'm so disappointed in myself.. It's water and all the stuff I ate yesterday, but it still feels like shit.

SGD Day 12

In: 97 (so far and out of 450)
Out: 670 (so far)
Net: - 573
This leaves me 1023 calories to "play with" tonight. I'm walking to and from J later = another 200 calories? Have to go to the store before I get there.

After out 1,5 hours at the gym we got back to her place for coffee. I wasn't really hungry and I managed to not eat while she did (told her I would eat later and wanted my shake first). But when I was going to drive her down town at 2 pm I started to feel very sick. I thought I was going to puke and reeeeeally needed to go to the bathroom. Drank a little water and felt a lot better but it was still so freaky when I was driving.. My legs kept shaking like CRAZY and it was really hard to drive. I'm driving stick so I had to use my legs a lot too.. But I managed to get home safe and drank my shake. Started too feel sick again so I had to lay down. Now, an hour later, I feel a lot better. I think my body has absored all the nourishment in the shake, giving me energy again. Still a little cold though.

I'm really hungry and I guess it's because it's "my time of the month" soon (even though I already bleed..). Not craving chocolate yet. I'm thinking of making a stuffed paprika for dinner, with a salad. It's pretty low cal and I sort of crave it since that's what J made for lunch.

I better hit the shower while I feel okay. Have a lovely friday girls! Make good decisions and enyoj yourselfs, because you are absolutly amazing!

SGD Day 11

In: 504 (out of 500)
Out: 1035 (I love walking to places <3)
Net: -531 calories

Another good day. Forgot to take my dietpills this morning so when I got home from school and gym I was in a binge mood.. Still am.. It's a good thing P's on a diet too, because that means we only got healthy, sort of low cal foods at home. And I'm starting to crave those healthy things. I dont want pizza, I'm in the fucking mood for salad!

Tomorrow I'm going out for drinks with J. I got a bottle of white wine and I think that's all I'm going to drink. I'll go to the gym and eat a low cal dinner before I leave to save myself some calories. 450 is the limit.. Ugh. Thinking some carrots and some quorn (150?) = I got 300 calories left = I have to burn at least 300 at the gym (I will burn 600 if I go there by car. Like at least 900 if I walk).

I'm so pumped! Cant wait to get dressed and do a partymakeup and all.

SGD Day 10

In: 900 (out of 400)
Out: 500
Net: 400

Oh, I have been eating soo much today! Scale said 71.9 AGAIN this morning which made me feel sort of like "fuck it".. It will probably be like 72.5 tomorrow, ugh.. My body's sore from yesterdays workout and I hope it's gone tomorrow because I'll go again. Have class in the morning, then gym and I'll probably go visit F after that.

I'm really tired today..

SGD Day 9

In: 300 (out of 300)
Out: 715
Net: -415

Pretty good day, huh? Ran for 30 minutes at the gym, I ran so fast I thought I was going to puke (again!). I love it. I've eaten a salad and a proteinshake, the shake was not that bad. Vanillaflavor, 117 calories each. Tomorrow I'm having lunch with my mom and my brothers girlfriend. Ugh.. I hope we'll eat salad but I sort of crave chinese.. Caloriebudget is 400. Thinking of walking down town (and back home), and making that tomorrows work out.

I ate like the worlds largest salad 2,5 hours ago. I'm SOOOO hungry right now.. No pain, no gain.

SGD Day 8

In: 305 (out of 400)
Out: 450
Net: - 105 calories

Today was awesome. Morning weight was 72.1, I finished my paper, I called the doctor and made an appointment and J came over for coffee. Ate an apple at.. 4, one ricecake at 8 and a cracker and fishballs like 10 minutes ago. I'm soooo full right now. But "nice" full because it was a really healthy meal and I was superhungry. Went walking with J for over an hour at 8 pm. She wants to lose weight and is asking me for tips and such. She told me she's worried about me though.. Told her I'll eat normal when I've lost the rest of my weight, I think it calmed her down.

I ordered proteinshakes like.. friday and they sent them today. I hope I get them tomorrow. I think I'll start having them as lunch (and sometimes dinner) because I need them when working out and they are about 100 calories each. I hope they're not disgusting, lol..

Got the makeup I ordered from ELF today. Yay! J liked it so much that she ordered some herself. Cant wait to do my makeup :)

I tried P's jeans like 2 weeks ago and could barely button them. I tried them again yesterday and they fit perfectly. Just wanted to let you know!

SGD Day 7

In and net: 603 calories (out of 650).

Dont have much more to say.

SGD Day 6

In: 438 (of 450)
Out: 94
Net: + 344
Made pancakes for lunch today, ate them with jam and ice cream. And that's about it. Well, except for tea and coke zero. Now SGD is "back to normal", i just switched yesterday with today I guess.

And yeah.. I got my period today. Should've been coming about 2 weeks later, I'm on the pill and I've been eating it for 2 weeks now (since my last period). Awesome life having this stupid bleeding for 3 weeks out of 5. Really. I'm thinking of calling those who're prescribing it and start taking something else because I'm getting sick of bleeding this much. Damn, have been like this every month these last 6 months.. Sucks I've got like.. 9? months left of borthcontrol pills left at home. Fuck.

But, most important, I DID NOT GAIN YESTERDAY!!!! I was 72.7 this morning (think I was 72.8 yesterday morning?). I absolutly LOVE my metabolism right now. I hope I've lost again when I step on the scale tomorrow morning because I'm fucking starving right now. I'll have trouble sleeping tonight, sigh..

SGD Day 5

In: 1650 calories (out of 450 and I've overestemated)
Out: 1000 calories
Net: 650 calories

I'll probably gain (my stomach is seriously like a house now), but it was worth it. I'll probably switch sgd-days because I can probably stay around 450 tomorrow or sunday. So I dont ruin everything (and this weekend it's 650 cals/day).

I dont have time to write anymore but I have to say THANK YOU ALL for you'r lovlie comments. You are awesome people and deserve nothing but the best. Amazing, really. It really made my day suck a little less <3

.

I'm really tired of myself. 72.9. +0.6 kg since yesterday. FML.

SGD Day 4

Shitty day today. Like, really shitty. Weather sucked but I took my bike anyway (I'm fucking impressed by myself) and I got an headache on my way too uni. Were there for like an hour when we were finished and got to F's place with an even worse headache. Took an asprin, didn't help. Hung out with her, went for a mini walk and played with her kids. When I was on my way home my headache got so bad I thought I was going to faint. Had to stop and take it easy for a while.. Ugh. Still got a headache but it've gotten a little better.

Because her mom make like the best food ever I ate while I was there (and because of the headache). 670 calories to be exact. Burned 370 from walking/biking which gives me a net of 300. As long as my net is less than the calorie limit I'm satisfied (500 today). But I wont eat anything else today. Tomorrow me and P are going out for dinner and watching a movie at the cinema = A LOT more than 450 calories even if i try to restrict my eating. I will spend like 2 hours at the gym in the morning to make my net as low as possible.

Positive thing! Woke up and scale said 72.3 which means exactly an 25 kg loss since I started dieting on the 15th of march this year. Yey!

SGD Day 3

It's 6.30 pm over here right now and I've had 338 calories (out of 400). Only work out type of thing I've done today is walking to the store getting my new jacket that I ordered (-85). It's a size M and it's a liiiittle tight in the arm area. I guess I need to lose about 4 kgs to make it fit perfectly. Which is no problem because I want to lose more than 10 more, and my arms are really one of my biggest problems. I've got my moms armes which are HUGE. Really. Like a size bigger than the rest of my body, lol. We also got no as, it's kind of wide but totally flat. Love the jacket, anyway.

I should study, but I seriously got no motivation today. Well, there will be other days and I'm kind of ahead so it's fine. Tomorrow I'm allowed eat 500 calories. If it doesn't rain outside I'll ride my bike to school, and then to F, and back home (1 hour total?) and that'll be tomorrows workout. I'll put on makeup for the first time in what seems like ages, and I will try my new make up palette. FYI.

By the way. I'm 72.6. WHY IS IT GOING SO SLOW?! I was 72.8 yesterday, and I guess thats not like really slow but a couple of weeks ago I lost 1 kg/day! I just want it OFF. Now! Ugh.. I want my leatherjacket and my moms letherpants to FIT! I want to be skinny and turning heads.

SGD Day 2

In:
Vegetarian meatsause with broccoli (131)
Popcorn (165)
Total: 296 calories (out of 300).
Out:
Running (-332)
Strength (-155)
Walking (-70)
Total: -557
Net: -261

AWESOME day. I was hungry as hell but it was really no problem. P bought cheesedoodles while we were at the store = I had to make popcorn so I could stay away from 'em. Did good.

Went to the gym for 50 min. After 30 min on the treadmill, running faster than I usually do, I felt like I was going to be sick. 20 min of strength was aweful because I really thought I was about to puke. Had class after that and my stomach kept growling, didn't eat my apple and the stupid cafe only accepted cash today, so I could not buy diet coke or water or anything.. Another girl in my clas asked if Iä've lost weight.

Ordered a knitted cardigan online and got it today. Size M. It fits me perfectly (I was an XL 6 months ago).

I want to purge, but P's home. I'm really scared I'll wake up more fat again tomorrow.

SGD Day 1

Calorie budget is 400, I've eaten 300 (counting fruits/veggies) and walked off 350. Net -50. I'm having a great day, feeling awesome. Tomorrow's 300 calories, piece of cake. I'm also taking my fat butt to the gym tomorrow, making this fat disappear. It really feels like I'm back on track!

Mealplan for tomorrow:
Apple (110 cal)
Salad (190 cal)
I'll be bringing the apple for school in case of emergancy. I hope I dont have to eat it but I'm having class in the afternoon..

And hello to you, new followers! If you want me to follow you back, leave a comment and I'll check your blogs out :)

Fatty

I'm back. Even back on track. Scale said 73.9 this morning = almost a kg gain since friday morning. 2000 calories yesterday. Today I wont eat that much and tomorrow I'm starting the SGD. My parents are coming over for coffee tomorrow, and I "have" to offer them cookies or something, but I'm home all day monday (study day) so I'm thinking of baking something low-cal before they get here.

A while ago I told you that my mom said I didn't need to lose anymore weight. Yesterday she said I could stand losing like 5 kgs. I know it's true but it feels a lot better when people tells you to stop lose weight, because that's sort of a compliment. When my mom was my age she bought a couple of leather pants, size 38. I'm sort of between a size 40 and 38 so I could not button them when I tried them yesterday. Mom say "lose 5 kg, so you can button them". She asked me how long it would take, I said 5-weekish maybe and then she said I should try them again on my birthday (11th of October). Well, it gave me a new goal (since I now fit into all my "not fat" clothes).

I need to lose this fat. Fuck.

FML

Shitty weekend. Huge binge today without a possibility to purge. I'll be back on sunday (or monday if scale says "YOU'VE GAINED, FATTY" tommorrow morning).

OH!

And yeah, one of my classmates said "You've lost weight, huh?" but more telling me than asking me. I'm really happy that it shows, you know, when people you dont that know that well, haven't seen in a while or just sees you fully clothed.

Totally made my day.

I ate pizza like 6 hours ago, and I can still taste it.

73.1. 2 pieces of bread with tomato and onion (120), 1/4 of a pizza(530!!?!?!?!?!?) and 10 hours later it's still 73.1. I could shit my pants, that's how scared I am about eating anything else today. Fuck.. Went to the liquerstore with J and afterwards she wanted pizza. She wanted us to share because of how boring she thinks it is to eat alone. First I said no, but after a minute of her trying to convince me, I caved.. I only ate a little more than half of my share, gave the rest to her. I hate myself for eating a fatty pizza, but I cant help to be proud at the same time. I didn't binge. I were eating slow, and then I decided it was enough. It's like the first time I dont shove the binge-type-of-food right down my throat. I chewed.

Didn't binge yesterday. Had 290 calories. My body's all sore from the 1,5 hour at the gym yesterday. Burned 850. Tomorrow will be a fatty day. I'm going to visit my mom, she'll do lunch and probably some snacks too.. Ugh.. I wont eat anything else and try not to overeat.

By the way.. Today I saw on Facebook (!!?!?!?!) that one of my closest male friends is having a baby with his girlfriend! We haven't been talking that much lately (I got school and he got work) but I'm sort of.. offended that he didn't tell me and I had to found out on HER wall while snooping around. She's 7 months pregnant too, so it's not even news! And hey, she's only one year older than me. I'm a little jealous, but I cant have a baby right now. Dont really want to either.. They're just SO cute!

I guess pizza didn't build that body..

I'm doing it for those skinny legs

Scale say 73.5 kg. I'm hungry and a binge is not that far away. It's 09.40 am. Great start. I've had one piece of bread with soft cheese (47 cal), and I'm bringing an apple with me in case of emergency because of school. At 11 I'm about to go to the gym and I hope it's what it takes to snap out of this eatingmood. Ugh. I'm planning some soup for dinner.

I'm sore from working out at home yesterday. Feels awesome. Had 113 calories which makes it a lot better. Aiming for a max of 500 today. Stupid hunger. Maybe if I take my diet pill it will go away. I need energy and a lack of apatite.