Was a total fuck up. Decided to not count calories when I got home around 8 pm. I wanted to binge. So I did. In was about 1500 calories I guess. Out.. 300? A 0.2 kg gain, but that's probably liquid and food and I havn't been to the bathroom since.. monday? I just think I need a break. Wont be counting today either. Not "official" anyway. It's not like my brain will stop counting because I say so.
I think I need to eat. My body needs it. I'm scared. You know these things under my arms that I though came from working out? Like the skin had become irritated while I was at the gym? It's spreading.. Yeah.. I got it at other places on my body and it's like when you get a sunburn and your skin starts falling off, you know? Really disgusting and I'm scared it's because of some lack of either water or nutrition. Want to make my hair stop falling off too. That's why I'm going off the SGD and from monday I'm going too double my intake and eat 800-1000 calories a day.
I made it 25 days, sort of, anyway. I lost exactly 5 kgs in those 25 days. I'm still fat those 1000 calories is a maximum. Except for this weekend. As I said, I wont be counting but I will be thinking about what I put into my mouth.
I know how you feel. When I'm seriously sick, or when something just scares me (like for example, once or twice I fainted and had major hypoglycemia, all I could do was try and nourish my body so that I'd be fine enough to work).
ReplyDeleteYeah. I think you just can't get rid of that thing in you. I memorised so many day-to-day foods I do eat. A piece of bread, 67, an apple, must be weighed can be anywhere from 68-94, sometimes even up to a 100 calories if I'm not careful. It's very real and very lucid and we can't get rid of it. It's hard to just put something in my mouth without worrying over it unless I counted it in my budget.
Really? I hope you feel better! I'd still see a dermatologist for that. At one point during the summer, my vagina was burning, and there was this disgusting green-skin-like patches forming on my thighs at some point that were crusty and gross, and I couldn't sleep because of it. The skin was pretty hot and red. It was just horrible. Most skin conditions are related to something a lot different than an ED so I still suggest you get it checked, darling. <3
25 days! <3 Still amazing.
We're here with you, darling! Just don't be too hard on yourself.
-Sam Lupin
I think it is good that you are going to start eating more. You have done great and you have lost some great amount of weight.. But with SGD at some point the body will crash..
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the weekend of not counting- give your self a break from it and take care of you
<3