I ate like there was no tomorrow. And I'll probably do that today too. Yesterday we went to this building with a lot of small rooms with different quests in them, you know what I mean? We went with like 10 other people to celebrate my cousin, so I did burn some calories during the day. Dont know how many.
Met this really skinny girl over at my cousins place at his b-dayparty. She was like reeeaaally skinny and reeeaaally toned. My weightloss was sort of the subjekt of the night because my cousin havn't seen me since I started losing, so it felt natural to tell her I really liked her body. We talked a lot during the evening and later on she got a little drunk and telling me she had anorexia a while back (claimed to be healthy now but didn't eat anything all night), a BMI of 17 now apparently, she had tears in her eyes while telling me her sister talked her in to get healthy again and warned me to get stuck with this diet thing.. The wierd part? It made me want to throw up and stop eating.
Woke up at 5 am this morning with a really bad bellyache. Felt like it was about to burst and I had not been eating or drinking anything for 6 hours. Was really thirsty and had a headache so I tried drinking some water which made it hurt even more. I almost cried because it was that painful. So scared.. It's gone now though.
I'm so tired of my body being a fuck up.
Ah. We all do that sometimes, darling. Your body needed the rest from the SGD. I don't blame you. I know that. It makes me feel so challenging, so competitive, somehow as if I want to be that girl one day. I know that stomachache that continues on with you until the morning! It's horrid! :( I once had to lie down from the pain of a binge!
ReplyDelete*sighs* aren't we all tired of our fucked up bodies? *still loves you entirely* <3
Hope you have a good day, love. If you want anything, you can always comment and I'll drop a note to you. <3
Love you, sweetheart.
-Sam Lupin
Ugh, I envy people whose eating disorder's are obvious too. The compliments, the empathy, the glamor of being tiny.. Then rationality kicks in and I remember that they have problems too. Something you clearly learned when a girl you just met told you all of this stuff...
ReplyDeleteI've found that er...beano pills take away those stomach pains. And lots of antacids. Dieting is truly murder on the stomach.
lovelove!