Let's do this

I'm fucking back on track girls! Today I walked more than 11000 steps (burning almost 500 cals), and I've been on a liquid fast. I'm not even hungry! Haven't been drinking as much as I should, so I feel like a headache is about to enter my head. What ever, still worth it

I bought laxies today too. Not to lose any weight (not even poo-weight), I bought it because my body is getting wierd.. I went a week without going to the bathroom (sorry if I disgust you..) so I really think it's a good thing to have at home.

I feel fucking awesome, you know. Like I'm invincible. I know I can do it and I will. It's just a matter of time and I dont really have much of it.. I'm going on a shoppingspree in London in 3 weeks, and I'm not able to lose 30 kg till then (duh). But I'll lose as much as my body allows and that will be fine. As long as I stay away from jeans, lol.

This is how much I've lost right now. I'm fucking fat but at least I'm doing something about it.

I hate that all of my friends are skinnier than me.. I'm tired of being the fattest person in the room.

Not that bad

Hi. I couldn't get myself to blog this weekend. I ate and ate and didn't work out at all. I tried to eat as healthy as I could and my stomach has become so small that I got really, really full really, really quick. I thought I would gain at least a couple of kilos, but I'd only gained 0.2 kg (since thursday) when I stepped on the scale today. So, a loss of 1.3 kg in total last week.

P's grandmother said that my weightloss was showing, and she didn't even know I'm trying.. I went for a walk (then fishing and drinking) with a friend yesterday. She knows about my diet thing (but not about how little I am eating) and she said that you really could see it now. I've lost 7 kg so far, so yeah, it should show by now..

easter..

I was fasting for over 25 hours, it wasnt even hard and I didnt even fell hungry at all. I ended the fast with a 250 calorie ice cream though.. But I'm not going to bitch over it. I'll eat more than I have these last couple of months now when it's easter, but I'll not overeat and I hope I wont gain. I cant just not eat because we're going to various familydinners friday-sunday, but I'll do what I can to limit the harm.

What do you guys do not to gain at holidays?

Happyface

Fucking awesome. Scale showed a very, very nice number today. I've reached my first goal AND I lost 2,8 kg during the 10 day challenge. That's fucking 6 lbs!

I also got the resault back from my exam, and I passed.

P told me he worked late because he didn't want to come home, because he "knew what was waiting". We solved it but he really broke my heart yesterday..

Now I know what proud means.

I've lost 0.6 kg (1.3 lbs) since monday. And I ate lunch (350 cal) and have been drinking tons of water today! Cant wait too see what number my beloved will show me tomorrow.

P's working late tonight, so I'm able to skip dinner. I'm chewing sugarfree gum and drinking water instead. And I'll go for a walk with our friend in a while = 80 points today! A great way to end this challenge.

Turn me inside out

I saw a pretty new number on the scale today. I'll be good today so it shows an even prettier number tomorrow (when I see my total weightloss of the 10 day challenge).

Last night things got a little bad between me and my boyfriend (I'm gonna start call him P). My brother is having some.. issues that I talket to P about. I got the feeling that P kind of talked bad about my brother so I got really hostile and I ended up sleeping on the couch. I texted him a heart this morning, and he said "I love you too, but it seems like we have more of these days than the ones where we are happy" and he wants to talk tonight. I dont think we'll break up but i'm still going crazy about it.

I've never had those kind of feelings for another person. Like, all of my previous relationships ended on the day 1 of trubble, for P and I, I want to fight. I love him a lot even though he hurts me like hell without even noticing it sometimes.

Today I'll be starving. I'm a terrible person who needs to be thin. Maybe If I'm happy about myself our fights will come to an end. A perfect day to study, maybe it will take my mind of food and P.

And here we go again

Yesterday was awesome, 80 points. Today I'm at 60. I hate those days when I have to eat at school.. Last day of the 10 day challenge tomorrow, I hope today wont fuck it up.

Things have changed, they are not ruined.

No liquidfast today. I started to feel sick and had a headache so I ate an apple so I would get some energy and be able to take a asprin. 140 calories so far today. My walk lasted almost 2 hours this morning, so I feel kind of good anyway.

Do you want to know about something that's fucking annoying? This morning I told you about my -6 kg weightloss, but I forgot to tell you about my boyfriends. He've lost 2 kg. It's getting me pissed because he hasn't done a thing to lose that weight. I've been fucking starving, working my ass of at the gym and "only" lost 4 kg more than he have.

monday, day 1, week 6

I'm so happy. Weigh in today shows -6 kg (13 lbs) since I started 5 weeks ago. I didn't gain this weekend (but I didn't lose either) and today I'm liquidfasting til dinner. I wanted to really see how much I've lost so I tried on my old clothes, because I'm "building" muscles at the gym too. I almost fit into my favourite jeans. My work jeans are loose. I'm fucking awesome!

I couldn't even get them over my hips 6 weeks ago. Not I can button them if i lay down.

This pair was so thight that if i'd gain like one more kg they woldn't fit. Now? Loose!

So.. I'm still a fucking fatty but I'm on my fucking way to fucking thin.

Yesterday I made 60 points. Didn't move my ass from the sofa all day. Ate fine though.

I hope that today will be great for you guys to, maybe my happiness can rub off on you too.

blueberryyumyum

I got 70 points yesterday. I fucked up on food again.. I hate it when my boyfriend is home and I have to eat every meal. I'm thinking liquidfast tomorrow, at least till dinner. I got this really nice sugar free blueberry soup that's like 40 calories/cup and it taste just like the "original" one with suger. It contains a lot of vitamins and stuff too.

Do you ever get the feeling that you want to grab a knife and cut the fat out of your body? I get it almost every day and I feel like a fucking psyco..

I want to fit into my favorite jeans again

I've gained 0,5 kg since yesterday, but I guess it's because I still got the food in my body. I ate more dinner yesterday than I have been eating for a day in over a month, I got really full and couldn't even have tea last night. I felt like I was going to be sick and that feeling didn't leave my body until like 11 am today. Still under 1000 cals (got 70 points), so it wasn't that bad anyway. Dinner was all I ate.

I also got into a fight with my boyfriend yesterday. I told him that I dont feel appreciated, like, I did clean the whole apartment and he didn't even say "thank you". What the fuck?! But this morning he said "You know, I love you" and it's quite a big thing because it's like the third time he say I love you to me, and we've been dating for 2 fucking years in 2 weeks. It only sucks because he told me because he feels like he have to.

I know he loves me with all his heart, and he feel like he dont need to tell me but shows it instead. Sometimes it's just so nice to hear it, you know?

stay focused

Today I got 70 points on the 10 day challenge. I've over-ate my caloriebudget with 100 calories, so it's not that bad. And I will do my best not to eat 352657575727 calories this weekend.. It's really hard for me to stick to 500 cals, 600 seems more "natural"..

AAAAH. I crave potato chips. If we would have had some I would binge. Fuck.

so-so

So.. Yesterday was not that great. I slept really bad, ate kind of good, drank king of good and worked out a little so so.. Got like 50 points. Today is a new day and I've lost almost 1,5 kg since monday morning, that is more than 2,5 lbs. So I got to do something right. I just have to not gain in the weekends.

Hell yeah!

I scored 20 points in the 10 day challange today! And I'm not even hungry! My body is all sore though, real serious pain in my ass and thighs. But it's so worth it.

I bought a food scale today. It will be fucking awesome.

Update: Lol. I scored 80 points..

Day 1

I started on this today, and I'm fucking awesome.

Calories = 600 - 10

Water = almost 4 l - 20

Exercise = 1 h gym and 1,5 h powerwalk = 1300 calories (I'm in the fucking negatives!!!) - 20

Sleep = 9 h - 20

Points = 70

This is the first time I'm in the negatives. I'm sooo proud of myself. I ate more than 500, but I dont fucking care.

And I'm so happy. My boyfriends bestfriend live like 2 houses away from us, and his girlfriend asked me on Facebook if I'd like to go for a walk with her. Now I got another workout buddy, one that lives next door! She wants to loose weight too, so we can really push each other! We're going to the gym tomorrow, and she's going to help me pick a nice food scale so my calorie count can be more accurate.

I lost less than 1 kg since last week. Gained like a fat cow this weekend.. But, I'll loose 5 lb in 10 days.

It's friday. I always gain in weekends.

I'm so fucking pissed right now. A girl in my class is really fucked up. I said something and she disagreed and got all angry or something, acting like a fucking bitch. At first I was in some kind of chock, I was so not prepared on that reaction, but then I really had to bite my tongue not to start to attack her (by words).. I've got real trouble to act all happy and that I like people when I dont. If I dont like you - you'd know it. And she is so ridiculous, I only said that soccerplayingmales makes more money than soccerplayingfemales because they got more sponsormoney because a lot more people watch men do sports. Is that really something to get that fucking upset by? GAAAH. Bitchbitchbitch..

Sorry guys for complaining and being such a bitch (lol), but I had to get that out of my head. And foodwise this day sucked to. I've been eating like 600 calories today.. And it's like 3.20 pm.. BUT, I will drop that now. I cant do anything about what I have already been eating, but I can shape up and stop eating so fucking much.

Now I'm going to do a 30 min powerwalk to my friend (and 30 min back home later). I will loose weight.

Stay awesome people.

Good girl going bad

Yesterday I ate one more time.. Fucking free catering food.. And I'm working again tomorrow, but perhaps the 5 hour power walk that it will be will make me loose some weight anyway (or atleast not gain). I am going to have lunch with my mother tomorrow too. It will not be a awesome day.

Today I've been a good girl, I ate a banana and dinner ~ 500 calories. And I went to the gym and burned 400.

My boyfriend told me that he could feel my weightloss when I sat on him today. But he also told me that it almost hurt when I did it before. Thank you for not telling me I was that fat. Well, I'm happy it shows, I've worked hard for my 5 kg loss!

I love this

I've lost 1 kg since yesterday, go me!

Today I'll eat:
1 banana
1 apple
1 pear (or a salad if my friend is in school too)
1 bowl with cereals (before work)

Just my luck

Shit. Was reading blogs when my boyfriend suddenly came to sit beside me. As fast as fuck I closed the window and he got reeeeally suspicious. I dont think he think its this food-obsession I'm trying to hide, but something else. I even shut down my laptop, so now I'm really afraid that he'll think I'm cheating on him or something. Stupid, stupid! If I only had kept the window open and like not drag the attention to it this would not have been a problem.

I hope he doesn't ask me again, because I dont want to lie.

and here we go again

My fruitfast today didn't go very well.. I was at my friends house after the gym and her mother made this awesome food so I had some. Only a little (they even asked why I didn't eat more) and I burned more than 400 calories at the gym, and I could not have been eating more than that over there, so it's alright, right? I had half a grapefruit for breakfast and a banan and a pear for lunch/snack. I'm allowing myself an apple or a kiwi later, but thats it.

I wish I could fast tomorrow instead, but because I'm working I'll need the energy. And I've lost 1 kg since last monday. I feel horrible because I know I could loose atleast the double. On the upside, the gym was awesome and it felt like I could keep running for ever.

i officially hate weekends

I suck. Binged on cookies today.. My boyfriend even asked how many I ate.. I think I've been eating around 1000 calories today, perhaps a little more. And I've been fucking living in my couch all weekend. I'm dying to get to the gym tomorrow, and have a fruitfast. I dont want to think about the weigh-in tomorrow..

GAAAH. I'm so mad at myself, why the hell did I eat those sugerfilled things? At least I skipped dinner.. I'm doing really good in the weekdays, but in the weekend I always fuck it up.

My friend asked me yesterday if I can come and work with her on tuesday. I so need that money because I dont have a job for the summer and I dont get any money from school either.. I'll earn about $100, so I said yes, even though it's in the evening. It's a waiter kind of job so i'll burn some calories too.

I hope you guys did better than me.

on saturdays your supposed to regret what you did yesterday?

I was doin' really good yesterday. Until me and my boyfriend went to a chinese restaurant. I had already told myself that I was going to eat half, but before I knew it I had eaten the whole thing.. Well, it was non-fried chicken and totally worth it. And we went to the movies afterwards, I had diet coke and popcorn. A large fucking popcorn (to share with my bf but anyway) and I ate like nonstop. At the time it was like "I dont care, i'll eat today", but when I came home I got my sanity back and was full of regrets.. I'm happy I didn't buy something with more calories.

I went to weigh in and I have not gained. Now yesterday was totally worth it.

Friday

I stepped on the scale a minute ago and I'm down 4 kg (since i started). It's 7.30 pm and I have been eating today. Don't you just love it when things go your way?

Or.. My exam today.. I think it went bad. Well, it doesn't cost me anything to take it again so.. But still. Sucks.