In: 482 (out of 500)
Out: 111
Net: 371
I reeeaaaalllyyyy want ice cream right now. I'm currently using ALL of my willpower to not walk into the kitchen and eat some. It's pretty low in calories which makes it even harder to resist. But. I. Will. Not. Eat. Scale said 68.9 this morning and I want it to be less tomorrow.
I've been eating breakfast, lunch, a snack and dinner today. Really low calorie meals, obviously.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
SGD Day 24
In: 475 (out of 450)
Out: 375
Net: 100
Great day. Coffee and water all day and an 1 hour walk. Made spagetti bolognese (spelling?) for dinner (and had 25 calories more than allowed) and it was SO good. I've been craving it for a couple of days and I decided to make it today. Don't regret it, but I guess it's because my scale told me 69.6 even though I fucked up yesterday. 25 calories wont kill me. And I try to think that they came from veggies, because I had a lot of them too. It feels a lot better today. Motivation's sneaking back, I just have too keep my eyes on the goal. Like 9 kgs left.
Do you ever get scared? 'cause I am.. When I reach my goal, when I'm all satisfied with my body, then what? I know I'll have to maintain and shit but it still scares me. Too see that loss everyday has been my entire world for these last 6 months. I dont want to quit. Maybe that's why these last few days sucked, I might be trying to ruin it for myself? I dont know..
Out: 375
Net: 100
Great day. Coffee and water all day and an 1 hour walk. Made spagetti bolognese (spelling?) for dinner (and had 25 calories more than allowed) and it was SO good. I've been craving it for a couple of days and I decided to make it today. Don't regret it, but I guess it's because my scale told me 69.6 even though I fucked up yesterday. 25 calories wont kill me. And I try to think that they came from veggies, because I had a lot of them too. It feels a lot better today. Motivation's sneaking back, I just have too keep my eyes on the goal. Like 9 kgs left.
Do you ever get scared? 'cause I am.. When I reach my goal, when I'm all satisfied with my body, then what? I know I'll have to maintain and shit but it still scares me. Too see that loss everyday has been my entire world for these last 6 months. I dont want to quit. Maybe that's why these last few days sucked, I might be trying to ruin it for myself? I dont know..
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
SGD Day 23
Both in and net: about 1000 (out of 300)
I'm such a fucking fatty.. Did good all day, but since I went to F I ate her moms awesome food (500 calories) and then had some cookies (other 500). Ugh. I even had a couple more in secret after they left the kitchen for like 2 minutes.. No exercise either. It's 5 pm and I wont eat any more today.
I was 70.1 this morning, right now I'm 70.3. Makes me feel okay because it's 2 hours since I started to eat. Maybe tomorrow will be better, I will make it better. Hate these 300 calorie days!
I'm such a fucking fatty.. Did good all day, but since I went to F I ate her moms awesome food (500 calories) and then had some cookies (other 500). Ugh. I even had a couple more in secret after they left the kitchen for like 2 minutes.. No exercise either. It's 5 pm and I wont eat any more today.
I was 70.1 this morning, right now I'm 70.3. Makes me feel okay because it's 2 hours since I started to eat. Maybe tomorrow will be better, I will make it better. Hate these 300 calorie days!
Monday, September 26, 2011
SGD Day 22
In: 375 (out of 400)
Out: 300
Net: 75
Oh my god I'm SOO hungry! I could just eat and eat and eat but I wont. I've had an apple, 2 crackers, a salad with mushrooms, 2 meatballs and a ricecake today and that's enough. Craving the diet ice cream but no way. I've promised myself to stick to the calorie amount and I need to stick too it. Dont know what's up with me, it's like I've lost motivation.. I hope I get back on track soon because I know that this is what I want. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Walked to school and turned down when a girl in my class asked if I wanted a ride home (she lives like 2 houses away).
P's invited to a conference in the US in november. Vegas. I wish I could go with him, but I'm only turning 20 in like 2 weeks, so I cant really do anything over there.. That really sucks. Like REALLY sucks. Guess we can go someday when I'm 21. STILL sucks.
300 calories tomorrow.
Out: 300
Net: 75
Oh my god I'm SOO hungry! I could just eat and eat and eat but I wont. I've had an apple, 2 crackers, a salad with mushrooms, 2 meatballs and a ricecake today and that's enough. Craving the diet ice cream but no way. I've promised myself to stick to the calorie amount and I need to stick too it. Dont know what's up with me, it's like I've lost motivation.. I hope I get back on track soon because I know that this is what I want. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Walked to school and turned down when a girl in my class asked if I wanted a ride home (she lives like 2 houses away).
P's invited to a conference in the US in november. Vegas. I wish I could go with him, but I'm only turning 20 in like 2 weeks, so I cant really do anything over there.. That really sucks. Like REALLY sucks. Guess we can go someday when I'm 21. STILL sucks.
300 calories tomorrow.
SGD Day 21
In: 1800 (out of 700)
Out: 100
Net: 1700
OMG. Scale say 70.8kg today and yeah.. I feel like shit even though I KNOW it's mostly water, sodium and disgusting food in my body. Today is a new day and I'm allowed 400 calories. I'm walking to and home from my class today (cant go to the gym because of my stupid armpits..) and I wont eat more than 400. Coffee for breakfast and an apple for lunch.
Ugh. My stomach hurts so bad.. I just went in to the bathroom but it didn't help. Things still need to get out. And I have class and have too leave in like 5 minutes. Fuck.Well.. Need to go. I'll give you on info on the day (22) later tonight.
Let's do great today!
Out: 100
Net: 1700
OMG. Scale say 70.8kg today and yeah.. I feel like shit even though I KNOW it's mostly water, sodium and disgusting food in my body. Today is a new day and I'm allowed 400 calories. I'm walking to and home from my class today (cant go to the gym because of my stupid armpits..) and I wont eat more than 400. Coffee for breakfast and an apple for lunch.
Ugh. My stomach hurts so bad.. I just went in to the bathroom but it didn't help. Things still need to get out. And I have class and have too leave in like 5 minutes. Fuck.Well.. Need to go. I'll give you on info on the day (22) later tonight.
Let's do great today!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
SGD Day 20
In: 1800 (out of 650)
Out: 300?
Net: probably like 1500 calories
I fucking hate alcohol. And food. I was at like 1000 calories even without the boose.. I'm sort of hungover but P's worse. He slept in the bathroom and can still barely stand on his feet. And it's been 12 hours since he last drank something. I've just eaten 25 grams of chocolate (130 calories) and later I'm ordering pizza or something. Thinking falafels with rice. Or a hamburger. Ugh. It feels like "fuck it" right now, like I can eat this. But I know that when this greasy food hits my stomach I will feel like such a failure. Cant even work out right now because I got HUGE chafes under my arms. It hurts like hell when I move.
I almost got into a bitchfight yesterday! My brothers crazy ex-girlfriend sat at our table, and his girlfriend was so afraid that she would do that when we saw her at the club. So I said to her "If you're planning on staying, you should just leave because noone wants you here" (have in mind I dont like her either and I was super drunk).. So she came over to me (she sat like 2 chairs away) and was all "did you want something?" and I told her I wanted her to leave and she said she wasn't planning on staying and I apologized because if she was leaving, there was no problem (feel free to say hi but dont stay kind of thing). Then she told me that I should not jump into conclusions because I probably was at least that mature and then I told her I DID apologize. Made her shut up and leave. Funny thing though - she apologized to ME for being a bitch like an hour later! She's really sneaky (trying to become friends with me when she 1. cheated on my brother, 2.spreads rumours about his new gf 3. hang out with his friends to be close to him) and a total bitch. If that made any sence for you guys, haha!
Morning weight yesterday (day 20) was 69.9kg. FUCKING BELOW 70!!!!!!!! Today was 69.5, but since I was throwing up yesterday it's probably not the "real" number? Right? Even if it is it will be gone tomorrow after all the eating I will do today. Because, I know I will eat even if I know it will ruin both my mood and my body. And because I was throwing up the alcohol calories actually are lower, but I counted them as I didn't throw up.
Out: 300?
Net: probably like 1500 calories
I fucking hate alcohol. And food. I was at like 1000 calories even without the boose.. I'm sort of hungover but P's worse. He slept in the bathroom and can still barely stand on his feet. And it's been 12 hours since he last drank something. I've just eaten 25 grams of chocolate (130 calories) and later I'm ordering pizza or something. Thinking falafels with rice. Or a hamburger. Ugh. It feels like "fuck it" right now, like I can eat this. But I know that when this greasy food hits my stomach I will feel like such a failure. Cant even work out right now because I got HUGE chafes under my arms. It hurts like hell when I move.
I almost got into a bitchfight yesterday! My brothers crazy ex-girlfriend sat at our table, and his girlfriend was so afraid that she would do that when we saw her at the club. So I said to her "If you're planning on staying, you should just leave because noone wants you here" (have in mind I dont like her either and I was super drunk).. So she came over to me (she sat like 2 chairs away) and was all "did you want something?" and I told her I wanted her to leave and she said she wasn't planning on staying and I apologized because if she was leaving, there was no problem (feel free to say hi but dont stay kind of thing). Then she told me that I should not jump into conclusions because I probably was at least that mature and then I told her I DID apologize. Made her shut up and leave. Funny thing though - she apologized to ME for being a bitch like an hour later! She's really sneaky (trying to become friends with me when she 1. cheated on my brother, 2.spreads rumours about his new gf 3. hang out with his friends to be close to him) and a total bitch. If that made any sence for you guys, haha!
Morning weight yesterday (day 20) was 69.9kg. FUCKING BELOW 70!!!!!!!! Today was 69.5, but since I was throwing up yesterday it's probably not the "real" number? Right? Even if it is it will be gone tomorrow after all the eating I will do today. Because, I know I will eat even if I know it will ruin both my mood and my body. And because I was throwing up the alcohol calories actually are lower, but I counted them as I didn't throw up.
Friday, September 23, 2011
SGD Day 19
In: 978 (out of 500)
Out: 592
Net: 386
Omg I've been eating sooo much today! Binged, but since we only got "healthy" stuff at home I binged on low cal ice cream, popcorn and grapes. I feel sick because I'm so full right now.. My net's still below the limit so I should be fine though, I just hope I wont gain.
Tomorrow is another question.. My brother's celebrating his birthday with his friends and we're invited. Why are boose so high in calories?! 650 calories tomorrow - fuck me! And I will not even be going to the gym making my "out" higher. If the weather's okay I'm thinking a walk. But I have to study too.. Damn!
Time to go to bed. This mornings weight was 70.2. yey!
Out: 592
Net: 386
Omg I've been eating sooo much today! Binged, but since we only got "healthy" stuff at home I binged on low cal ice cream, popcorn and grapes. I feel sick because I'm so full right now.. My net's still below the limit so I should be fine though, I just hope I wont gain.
Tomorrow is another question.. My brother's celebrating his birthday with his friends and we're invited. Why are boose so high in calories?! 650 calories tomorrow - fuck me! And I will not even be going to the gym making my "out" higher. If the weather's okay I'm thinking a walk. But I have to study too.. Damn!
Time to go to bed. This mornings weight was 70.2. yey!
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