one step at a time

I got stuck at a number on my scale, today I was below. Horray!

I've also decided that when I've lost 14 kilos I'm going to buy a new gym-outfit. A real one, now I'm in a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, the same that i've been using for.. 4 years? I guess that will be my first goal.

And my arm still hurts a lot. Fuck.

I only want to be beautiful.

stay focused

I didn't go to the gym today. My arm hurts like hell and I want to let it rest for a day. It hurts when I'm taking notes while studying so maybe it's worth it.. Fuck, why do I always get hurt or sick while trying to work out?

My boyfriend is coming home late tonight, which means that I can eat as little as I want for dinner. I'm having a big exam on friday, so on monday (when I dont need the energy as bad) I think I'll start a fruitfast. I'm thinking a fruit 5-6 times a day.

And it's starting to show, my weightloss. My stretchmarks are not so stretched anymore. But I'm still disgusting and want to cry when I see myself in a mirror. Fuck it. I'm less disgusting than I was yesterday, and I will be even less disgusting tomorrow. It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop, right?

yey!

The Rules:

1. Thank the person who loved you enough to bestow this gift.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Bestow this honour onto 10 people you follow who are fantastic in some way.

Thank you http://ooalana.blogspot.com/ ! You are awesome!

Seven things about me
1. My boyfriend is 10 years older than me, and in May we have been dating for 2 years. Love.
2. He is also a vegetarian, which make me a part-time-vegetarian.
3. I'm studying behaviorscience at a Swedish university.
4. I cant eat liquorice, that shit make me want to puke..
5. I love to bake.
6. My headreason for loosing weight is that I nolonger fit into my favouritejeans..
7. I had pneumonia when I graduated highschool last summer. I missed my graduation and it still brings tears to my eyes..

So, i'll list the wonderful blogs that I'm following (have not found 10 yet)
1. http://behindthesmileandfat.blogspot.com/
2. http://deathlydiet.blogspot.com/
3. http://blanketofana.blogspot.com/
4. http://verlieren.blogspot.com/
5. http://iwillbeasize0.blogspot.com/
6. http://makemeperfectmakemebeautiful.blogspot.com/
7. http://ooalana.blogspot.com/
8. http://sofrenchysoskinny.blogspot.com/

binge-free

I've lost 0.6 kg since yesterday (and thats all I've lost this week). Bingeing seems even more unattractive now. I only ate like 500 calories yesterday, only lunch. I had to eat breakfast today because I'm taking painkillers, but it's like 100 calories and I'm heading for the gym when i'm done.

Let's keep this a binge-free day, right girls?

I will make this work

Yesterday I binged, again. This morning I had gained 1 kg.. It was a really great wake-up-call because me and my boyfriend was invited to coffee at a friend today, and I only had coffee! They had buns and my favoritecookies, but I did'nt touch 'em! I feel so good right now, binging is so not worth it!

Yesterday my boyfriends brother + girlfriend came over. We played Kinect (and me and my bf had taken an 45 min walk earlier) but we also had Pringles, chocolate and popcorn.. It was the stupidest thing ever too.. While I was eating it i actually told myself to stop. I did'nt want it, did'nt crave it. Was not even hungry or anything. But I could'nt stop. I had diet coke though, lol.

That mean I have not lost or gained anything yet this week.. I'll see the final result tomorrow.

29 kg to go

I managed to loose weight even though I had waffles yesterday. Only 0,3 kg, but it's better than nothing (and a lot better than gaining).

you have to fall down to get back up

So.. Me and my boyfriend made waffles today.. I'ts waffleday in Sweden.. I did'nt eat too many, did'nt count them either.. and from now on I will shape up and I will not eat anything more today. Tomorrow I'll try to eat as few calories I can with my boyfriend at home. No binging.

I did'nt gain anything since yesterday. Hope I'm still the same tomorrow. I cant wait till this foodthing is a routin. Workin' out already is, but I'm so tired nowadays so I bought some energizing pills so I can manage to work a little harder. They also contain a lot of vitamins and stuff. I hope they work, would be awesome.

I think I need some really good thinspo

I wanted to fast today. At least till dinner (and only eat a little) . But after I had spent 1,5h at the gym I went to my friends place and of course they had pancakes. Pancakes and waffles is my weakness, and I told myself to have only one, but I ended up with 5 of them in my body.. That was like 3 pm and I am still really, really full.. Stupid stupid stupid. I hope all those calories I lost at the gym will make me loose weight anyway..

Yesterday I took a "before" photo of myself. It was not a pretty sight. When I've lost 30 kg I'll show you.. I'm really lucky though, because my boyfriend also want to eat healthy. That means we dont have anything that has a ton of calories at home, and I wont be tempted to ruin my body anymore.

This i me when I was 20 kilos lighter.. Still not thin enough..

I'm fatter laying down right now, than I was standing up back then..

Fuck! Really good thinspo for me though..

-3 kg since last tuesday

I kind of binged yesterday.. My parents came by to see my boyfriends apartment for the first time (and I have "lived" here for about a year now) and I had coffee and some buns.. On the upside, I was on the scale this morning and I've lost a kg since yesterday. I guess I still lost some weight because I still eat less than I did before.. My boyfriend bitch about me not doin' this the "healthy way". Well, it's not healthy being fat either.

I downloaded a really nice app to my phone, it's a list of how many calories things contain. I'm kind of new at this caloriecounting part, so I guess that app is going to be useful.

So.. Have a lowcalorieday everyone!

Story of my life

So. I'm fat. I started dieting a week ago, and I have already lost 2 kg. The last motivation i needed to get my thumb out of my as was when a midwife asked me about my hight and weight when she was givin' me my birth control pills. She told me to watch my weight.. And it's the first time they have said anything like that, and i've been on that shit for five years now.

The thing is.. I've gained 20 kilos since I met my boyfriend 2 years ago.. I'm not huge, but i'm pretty fat. 178 cm and (started at) 97 kg.. And it disgust me. I got stretchmarks all over my body and I eat like a pig. Or, I ate like a pig. Now I'm tryin' to eat as little as possible.

I hope this blog will keep my motivation up.

And I'm a swede so I'm sorry if my English sucks. Hope you guys will get my point anyway.