Hi.

I binged yesterday. And the day before. Yesterday I ate so much candy I ended up in the bathroom puking, without even trying. I think my body just had enough of all the crap I shoved down my throut. I'm on my period so I dont know my weight. Scale said 66 kg, but it's both food and water. Got 3 birthday-celebrations this week, but I'll try to make up for them. I want to get down to 60 AND get fit. It's going to be a lot of hard work, but I got a really nice motivationboost last night for some reason. Well, I dont complain. I'll go to the gym later, but first I have to study for a while.

Went to a little get-together saturday. Havn't seen the guests for a while and they were all like "How thin you've become! Good job". Ate so much I felt sick, so I went home after a while but P stayed. When he got home he told me whey were worried about me. Himself included. Like, for real worried. They even asked him if he took care of me good enough. What the fuck? I'm not even skinny yet.

I'll try to be on more. I miss you guys <3

this is whats up

It's been a while. Nothing but ordinary now a days.. Scale said 65.3 this morning, same as friday, even though it's monday. Anyway. I've got today off, because I did the exam last friday and the new class doesn't start untill tomorrow. How am I spending it? Working out. The challenge of today is 4 hours, 3 times. I've done 2.45 hours, and 2 times already. A powerwalk of an hour, 45 minute walk to the gym and spending an hour there. Burned 1011 calories and it's not even 3 pm yet. I'm doing a fitnessgame on the Xbox Kinect later.

Food's going great today too. A (healthy) sandwich with cottage cheese (180cal) for breakfast and coleslaw and a proteinshake (197cal) for lunch. I'll make white fish and mashed cauliflower for dinner and I might have an orange for snacking later. I've been aiming for a intake of below 1000 calories and burning at least 300 calories a day (those days I dont really have time for a workout). I'm getting healthier, trying not to skip meals and I think I got a better way of viewing myself. Mostly, I'm focusing more on working out than eating.

be calm or get the fuck out.

I went to a new hairdresser today. Paid more than 50 % less than I did at my old one. I also got a discount. The male hairdresser seemed to be flirting with me, but I dont know if it was to make me a regular or because I am hot. Because I am hot. Period. A little fat, but still gorgeous. It's a huge difference in the attention I get now and the attention (I did not) get when I was fat. I can not decide if I want to post a picture or not. Well, I do want to, but what if anyone I know come across this blog?

I was still 64.4 this morning.

Doing better

Scale said 64.4 this morning, a 1.9 kg loss since yesterday morning. Ate 150 calories and burned almost 800 calories, I just needed a great start. Today I've been eating 280 calories and still have dinner left. I guess it will be about 300 calories, but it's okay. I've burned 500 calories at the gym so I'm not going to sweat that. I love restricting, love the feeling of a low intake and energylevel.

Friday will be hard.. F asked me if I'd like to have dinner and go out for drinks. Havn't seen her in a while and I miss her. We'll probably be at my place so I can try to make something pretty low cal, but not odd, suggestions? Anyway, I wont eat before that and I will hit the gym. It will probably not be that much alcohol, so I might get away relatively fine with that.

And I dont know what to do about J. Today she had a friend of hers (who I HATE, and she knows it) come to the gym and a) sit and wait while we were working out (not stressful at all, huh?!) and b) she asked me if I could drive them to J when we were done (nice doing it in front of her!!!!! I dont want to be a bitch and were giving J a ride anyway, so I could'nt say no). And she just gets on my nerves. Her gym membership is expiring in like a month I think - thank god - but until then I just have to cope.. I still love her, but I think we need a break. I think I'm getting on her nerves as well, and maybe that's why she've become this strange. Odd thing is she doesn't seem to realize we're having problems because I cant even go for a walk alone without her asking, a bit accusive, why I didn't call her. Like, sometimes it's nice being alone..

...

Hey guys. Sorry I've not been reading or commenting your blogs. I've got a shitload of stuff to do at school right now and my energy has been real low. Weight sucks but tomorrow I'm starting to follow a foodplan again, with 38 days until it's my 1-year-diet-anniversery. I want to be 60 by then, so it's about 6 kilos that I have to lose. It will be hard because I got 3 people's birthdays coming up and valentines..

Still a little ill, but tomorrow I'll hit the gym. I want this off. Now.

whats up

I gained 4.2 kgs during my vacation. I lost 1 of them pretty quickly, like a day or so, but the rest is stuck. But you see, 5 days after we got home I got a cold wich I suspect makes me retain water. I'm starting too feel better now, but I got my period yesterday, so yey for more retaining! Ugh.. Yesterday I was 65.8, this morning I was 66.3. I had 1200 calories yesterday and can not gain 0.5 kg off that. I decided to increase my intake to 800-1000 while I'm ill, hoping to get well sooner, because I've been really ill. Cant wait to get back to the gym, even though J still wants to go with me.. Right before we left,  told her I'd lost more weight and you know what she said? "You will gain it back during your trip anyway". Like what the fuck?! How bitchy doesn't that sound?! And now she decided to weigh less than me, when I go faster on the treadmill, she do to. I dont get why she sees this as a competition? Okay if it was a friendly one, but she just comes off as really aggressive..

Anyway. I wont post the progress pic. It doesnt feel right when I got fat again. I didnt even want to post before I was at least below 65 again. I dont feel that bad about gaining while we were away, it's the not losing since we got back that sucks.