another day

I am so hungry it's insane. Plan: no breakfast and tons of water before I go to lunch. I'll run to, and probably from, the gym, no other cardio while there and doing core for 30 minutes. What else can I do on this day of stress? I've got lunch 11.15am, and then I'm meeting up with my brothers' girlfriend at 4pm and I wont be back home until 8.30pm. And I need to read a book for school too.

And hey, I'm 160.5lbs today. Time for a PWO and getting dressed!

Kind of a rant

So. I've just stopped following a few blogs. More than half of all the blogs I used to read either had been inactive since 2011/early 2012 or, as most of them, deleted. Especially one of those who has deleted her blog, Alana, made me really sad. Her blog had been inactive for a while but shutting down her blog.. It's so.. final, you know? We got kind of close and she and eve were really supportive to me when I first started this blog. Made me happy when I felt like shit and I care about them so much, even though I have like zero contact with them.

But this was not supposed to be a sad post. I've done great today. Eating that breakfast, a medium sushi and an orange, been walking for 1.5 hour, doing the elliptical for 30 minutes, killing my legs at the gym for 20 minutes and strech for 15. I started to strech in june/july-something and my flexibility has increased with like 100%. I'm proud as hell, haha.

Ugh.. My mom just called. Invited me to lunch with her and dad tomorrow. At some pasta-buffet-place. I hope they have a whole lot of salad.. Saturday P and I are celebrating my birthday with my friends and next weekend we're going on a friday-sunday cruise with my brother and his girlfriend. So easy losing weight! Or not.. If I go to the gym as I plan, I should be sort of fine though. Burning 1000 calories a day should balance at least b-dayparty and lunch this week? I hate eating while I'm drunk so I hope to keep the eatingcalories to a minimum..

Now I'm off painting my nails! Take care!
(and if anyone have a great blog to recommend, dont hesitate!)

get your act together

I did sort of good yesterday. Grandma decided to make me dinner too, but I ate in moderation and I'm now 161.5 lbs. I guess some of the weight yesterday was waterweight.

I'll soon be leaving for school and I just had a breakfast of 400 (probably 300something, did not weigh it) calories. I'll walk that of to and from class. I also plann to go to the gym today (OMG arms so sore from yesterday). I'm thinking skipping lunch means I get sushi for dinner. Sushi is my new addiction, haha.

Klaudia: Yeah, you should absolutly start your own blog, and you HAVE to give me the url!

Kitty: Thank you hun, been missing you <3

I'm back, hopefully..

Hi.
This time I will try to really be back on here. It's really helping me losing weight, because when I stopped blogging, things went south.. So I've decided to start over. I'm back at about 163 lbs right now and I feel so incredibly fat. I took new "before" photos today but my official weigh in will be on fridays.

Today wont be a perfect start since I turned 21 last thursday and I'm going to my grandma's today with cake since she didn't come to my birthdaycelebration with the family yesterday. But I have not eaten yet today and  I dont know if I will eat more than the cake and a couple of cookies I made. I've already been to the gym today so I'll probably be fine.

I'm still with P, life's good and my body wierd (stomach's fucked up and weightloss really slow. I can fast without losing almost anything).

Funny..

I'm going on a wedding in like an hour.. All my fucking clothes are too small. I just want to cry. Hello blog. Hello starving. From tomorrow, it's yoghurt for breakfast and dinner, salad for lunch and a fruit as a snack in the evening.

I just want to die. I've ruined everything. All my hard work. I cant cry because it would ruin my make up.

this will be a good day

Ednos Linny told me I could get the old blogger back, and I succeeded so now it's working again.

Anyway, I just got back from a 5k run. I need to start doing it everyday again. I eat pretty good, you know, healthy and all, but too much food combined with too little working out has made me gain. I wont start starving again, but I will eat less and work out like I should. 1000 calories seems like a great goal. I'll start drinking water like it's my job. Will be hard to do at my actual job, because we dont really have access to a bathroom that often.. I'll have to figure that one out.

I just realized I have a red birthmark on my arm. I'm freaking out right now, thinking it might be cancer. My grandmother has cancer (not severe or anything, but she've getting some removed) so I guess it could run i the family. I guess I'll have to get that one checked some day if it doesn't disappear.

I was thinking I should get back on here. But since they remade the design of blogger I want to puke. On explorer, I cant write anything, but on chrome I only see half of the page (reason for lack of headline). Annoying as fuck.

I'm alive, anyway. Fat as fuck, but alive. I'm back at 158. Maintaining in the weeks, but gaining in the weekends. Today I started counting calories again. I need to get skinny. I got new clothes for this summer which was a bit too small, now they are crazy too small. I'm working all summer though, so I guess I wont really need them.. I help old/disabled people out in their homes and with all the bicycleriding between their homes/helping them clean/cook/what ever I actually burn some calories. I get hungry as fuck though.. But I'm about to change my pattern, stay strong and get skinny. Hell yeah.

Did I tell you I've become intolerant to sugar? I react sort of like when you cant have dairy; stomach ache, gets a stomach that seriously makes me look pregnant, a neeeeeed to go to the bathroom and I start sweat like a pig. It's awesome because I have to avoid it (supernice when the old ones are offering sweets) but it's hard because it's sugar in almost everything. I had some dressing saturday which made my evening with P and his friends a living hell. I'm glad it's only the white (don't know about brown, though) one. I can have the ones that's in diary and fruit and I would seriously die without fruit. Been eating it like it's my job.

I miss you guys.