I'm going on a wedding in like an hour.. All my fucking clothes are too small. I just want to cry. Hello blog. Hello starving. From tomorrow, it's yoghurt for breakfast and dinner, salad for lunch and a fruit as a snack in the evening.
I just want to die. I've ruined everything. All my hard work. I cant cry because it would ruin my make up.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
this will be a good day
Ednos Linny told me I could get the old blogger back, and I succeeded so now it's working again.
Anyway, I just got back from a 5k run. I need to start doing it everyday again. I eat pretty good, you know, healthy and all, but too much food combined with too little working out has made me gain. I wont start starving again, but I will eat less and work out like I should. 1000 calories seems like a great goal. I'll start drinking water like it's my job. Will be hard to do at my actual job, because we dont really have access to a bathroom that often.. I'll have to figure that one out.
I just realized I have a red birthmark on my arm. I'm freaking out right now, thinking it might be cancer. My grandmother has cancer (not severe or anything, but she've getting some removed) so I guess it could run i the family. I guess I'll have to get that one checked some day if it doesn't disappear.
Anyway, I just got back from a 5k run. I need to start doing it everyday again. I eat pretty good, you know, healthy and all, but too much food combined with too little working out has made me gain. I wont start starving again, but I will eat less and work out like I should. 1000 calories seems like a great goal. I'll start drinking water like it's my job. Will be hard to do at my actual job, because we dont really have access to a bathroom that often.. I'll have to figure that one out.
I just realized I have a red birthmark on my arm. I'm freaking out right now, thinking it might be cancer. My grandmother has cancer (not severe or anything, but she've getting some removed) so I guess it could run i the family. I guess I'll have to get that one checked some day if it doesn't disappear.
Monday, July 2, 2012
I was thinking I should get back on here. But since they remade the design of blogger I want to puke. On explorer, I cant write anything, but on chrome I only see half of the page (reason for lack of headline). Annoying as fuck.
I'm alive, anyway. Fat as fuck, but alive. I'm back at 158. Maintaining in the weeks, but gaining in the weekends. Today I started counting calories again. I need to get skinny. I got new clothes for this summer which was a bit too small, now they are crazy too small. I'm working all summer though, so I guess I wont really need them.. I help old/disabled people out in their homes and with all the bicycleriding between their homes/helping them clean/cook/what ever I actually burn some calories. I get hungry as fuck though.. But I'm about to change my pattern, stay strong and get skinny. Hell yeah.
Did I tell you I've become intolerant to sugar? I react sort of like when you cant have dairy; stomach ache, gets a stomach that seriously makes me look pregnant, a neeeeeed to go to the bathroom and I start sweat like a pig. It's awesome because I have to avoid it (supernice when the old ones are offering sweets) but it's hard because it's sugar in almost everything. I had some dressing saturday which made my evening with P and his friends a living hell. I'm glad it's only the white (don't know about brown, though) one. I can have the ones that's in diary and fruit and I would seriously die without fruit. Been eating it like it's my job.
I miss you guys.
I'm alive, anyway. Fat as fuck, but alive. I'm back at 158. Maintaining in the weeks, but gaining in the weekends. Today I started counting calories again. I need to get skinny. I got new clothes for this summer which was a bit too small, now they are crazy too small. I'm working all summer though, so I guess I wont really need them.. I help old/disabled people out in their homes and with all the bicycleriding between their homes/helping them clean/cook/what ever I actually burn some calories. I get hungry as fuck though.. But I'm about to change my pattern, stay strong and get skinny. Hell yeah.
Did I tell you I've become intolerant to sugar? I react sort of like when you cant have dairy; stomach ache, gets a stomach that seriously makes me look pregnant, a neeeeeed to go to the bathroom and I start sweat like a pig. It's awesome because I have to avoid it (supernice when the old ones are offering sweets) but it's hard because it's sugar in almost everything. I had some dressing saturday which made my evening with P and his friends a living hell. I'm glad it's only the white (don't know about brown, though) one. I can have the ones that's in diary and fruit and I would seriously die without fruit. Been eating it like it's my job.
I miss you guys.
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